Carolyn Fe is a late-blooming Filipino-Canadian, award winning tri-lingual Actress (English/French/Tagalog), an award winning Singer-Songwriter-Lyricist and a former contemporary Dancer-Choreographer. Carolyn’s continuous pursuit of artistic evolution adds new instruments to her creative portfolio as a published Writer and emerging Playwright. Her short stories have been published in magazines and a poem is part of the Toronto Catholic School Commission’s curriculum teaching grade 10 and 11 students on the importance of intergenerational relationships. A budding playwright, she wrote her first plays while simultaneously participating in two different 2022 residencies: Montreal’s Teesri Duniya Theatre’s 2022 Fireworks Playwrights’ Programme where she developed “Go Fish!”, a play that was conceived in Tarragon Theatre’s Playwright Course with Paula Wing and, Factory Theatre’s 2022 The Foundry New Work Creation Group where she adapted her published short story into a play entitled “Still Life in Death”.
Carolyn has also translated “Cross Sea” by Kyungseo Min from English/Korean to French/Korean. The play telling the story of two women’s experiences as comfort women during the Japanese occupation of Korea.
As an actor, some TV/streaming credits include Lola (Grandma) in the Nickelodeon reboot of the children’s show “Blue’s Clues & You!”, Madame Z in the award winning French series “Meilleur Avant”, “ABROAD” a bilingual Tagalog-English sketch comedy series and, voices on various animated series such as DreamWorks’ “Pinecone & Pony” and PBS Kids’ “Work It Out Wombats”. Some Theatre credits include: Uncle Vanya (Crow’s Theatre), Three Women of Swatow (Tarragon Theatre), Calpurnia (Nightwood/Sulong), Through the Bamboo (Uwi Collective) and Miss Orient(ed) (Teesri Duniya Theatre).
When Carolyn is not on the theatre’s stage or front of the camera, she is most likely performing her original songs from her four albums or doing song writing collaborations with musicians around the globe.
Carolyn is the assistant director for Tarragon Theatre’s Paint Me This House of Love.
Instagram: @thecarolynfe
Twitter: @TheCarolynFe
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Transcript
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Phil Rickaby
I’m Phil Rickaby and I’ve been a writer and performer for almost 30 years, but I’ve realised that I don’t really know as much as I should about the theatre scene outside of my particular Toronto bubble. Now, I’m on a quest to learn as much as I can about the theatre scene across Canada. So join me as I talk with mainstream theatre creators, you may have heard of an indie artist you really should know as we find out just what it takes to be Stageworthy.
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Carolyn Fe is a trilingual actress, award winning singer songwriter, lyricist and terragon artist in residence and Assistant Director for paid me this house of love at Aragon theatre. She joined me to talk about paint me this house of love available as a fully realised digital production as part of Terragen shave who until May 31. In this conversation, we talk about her playwriting journey what it was like to be an assistant director on the play how her residency and its Aragon came about her time on Blue’s Clues and much more. Here’s our conversation
are you is your you have something that’s happening? A play of yours in Montreal? Go Fish Has that happened yet? Or is that about to happen?
Carolyn Fe
It’s a read it will happen may 11. Oh, awesome. Yeah. But it’s just a read of Act One. It’s a to understand. Okay. Yeah. Tara guns developing it. But what during the process of me writing it? The Theatre Company in Montreal? Teesri duniya. Help. They help. They embraced me with their with think of four month residency online. Thank goodness.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah, yeah. Well, that certainly enables you to do both things. The playwriting unit of terragon and the residency. That’s awesome. It’s great Sasa. Yeah. But before we get into that, we should talk about pay me this house of love, which is really the reason why we’re here today. And by the time this airs, the show itself will be closed, but there’s a digital production that people will be able to watch. So I want to make sure that we get that out of the way. But the important thing is could you tell me about paying me this house of love.
Carolyn Fe
Okay, for those who will not have seen it by the time this episode airs. I’m not going to give spoilers but imagine if you will, a 25 year old woman full who’s been abandoned by his by her father, she grew up with her mother. And all of a sudden her father shows up. And in this house of reunion, there’s been lies like in any family there’s there there are lies or skeletons in the closet the what happens when, when you when, as the woman year, you imagine how your father was you get information from your mother as to who your father was? And will he come back or not? So all this thing these things that are playing in the woman’s mind, what is real, what’s a lie, how to reconcile and move on with life without giving split
Phil Rickaby
now as far as your involvement in this show, you have been the the assistant director on the show. Well, let me start with basics like as far as like if somebody is like, actually know what an assistant director does. What does As an assistant director do,
Carolyn Fe
um, it’s similar to what a stage manager does during the rehearsal process. Take notes. Remember what the director says requests of the actors. remember some of the blocking, if you will also assist the actors with their lines, especially with paint me, this house of love. The lines are very difficult because Chelsea Wally, the way she wrote the communication between the daughter and the father, it’s, there’s hundreds of familiarity between the two characters. For instance, you live with your partner and it’s been years you’ve living, you’ve been living with them, you’re at the kitchen table for breakfast, instead of saying, pass me the sugar for my coffee. You just say pass me and your partner automatically understands. So it’s a similar kind of language. But for technically, for the actors, it was difficult to memorise because they have to understand what the other characters saying. Right? Yes, yeah, so a lot of repetition. The actress had to memorise each other other’s lines, so they can just give it a smooth flow.
Phil Rickaby
Now, have you have you as directing been a thing that you’ve done before? Is this a new experience for you?
Carolyn Fe
Ah, this is like, coming back to it. Back in Montreal, I had my own theatre company, Altera vitae productions, it was short lived, I had fall for full on productions. So I directed two out of the four. And then it was a time where I wasn’t getting any grants, you know, the story, no grants money out of my pocket. I was blessed with a good job to be able to afford full for full productions. But then I thought I can’t do it all. And I went on to enjoy being a performer. So remote, would make Paed asking me, you know, come on over let’s, let’s do this together. It was, um, at first, I was hesitant, but then I thought, why not? Let’s see if if that fire is still in me. As by now, by the time the podcast is, is going to be broadcasted the show my jobs, my job’s done, and I’m still trying to figure out if the fire is still in writing.
Phil Rickaby
Now, as far as like that, that like having my like, Mike approach you were you already part of the playwright tuning unit at terragon. Did it come out of that? Or did he approach you sort of like from the side from a different angle, and it was sort of a coincidence. Also,
Carolyn Fe
I’d like to clarify it’s artist in residence. Oh, artists
Phil Rickaby
in residence. Thank you so much. Yes, thank you.
Carolyn Fe
There are four residencies three of which are playwrights in residence. But my my position is artists and residents. So yes, it did fall under the umbrella of might basically gave me the keys to the house. You have an office, right, and you want to eventually go see what the props department is doing? Go? Yeah, the key. So yeah, I
Phil Rickaby
understand resident artists and risen and actually gives you a lot more like it’s not constrained to artists and residents is obviously a larger umbrella on average two said, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So
Carolyn Fe
it’s quite interesting. It’s quite motivating, and quite inspiring. What are we now we’re in May? Yeah.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah, I think yeah,
Carolyn Fe
we’re still big. We’re beginning of May. And I already have four plays on the table. Wow. And more ideas are coming. So
Phil Rickaby
that’s the always the interesting thing about writing. The interesting thing about writing is that is that you know, it’s a muscle and so when you exercise it, it feeds in so you have ideas, and because you have ideas, you have ideas, right? Yes,
Carolyn Fe
exactly. It just, it it just goes on and on and, and to have a designated place to feel free to do what you want artistically. Is just ha It’s a dream. It’s a dream.
Phil Rickaby
Now, how does that come about? How did you how did you find your way into the role is as an artist in residence at Terragen theatre.
Carolyn Fe
My pet called me in we because my pet then I we have history from Montreal. We know we know each other from Montreal. And he came to Toronto when he got the job and me I made a move bid pandemic. Yeah. And I don’t know, it’s just, you know, how this path separate and then paths meet again. And yeah, I think this time our paths really met and we’re walking parallel and I, what Mike is doing a Terragen adding diversity reaching further and challenging? Isn’t that what theatre is all about? to challenge the mind? She’s doing it.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah. Now for you as as as as as a playwright, and I remember we talked relatively early in the pandemic. And I remember you were you were starting to write and I remember having a moment where I said, you know, about about calling yourself a playwright and you were so reluctant to call yourself a playwright at that time. Tell me. Do you feel like a playwright? Hook?
Carolyn Fe
Oh, my almost, almost almost, I’m almost there. Only because ice, it’s, you know, my work is being developed. That means it’s under the umbrella of an official theatre. But if we’re having coffee and shake right now, Phil? No, not yet.
Phil Rickaby
Never yet. All right, since since it’s just you and me having coffee and cake. I’m curious, because I think we had, we had almost the same conversation in 2020 or 2021. whenever it was, and you were so reluctant to call yourself a playwright. And I think I will ask you a question that I think I asked you, then is for you. What do you think it would it that you need to be able to call yourself a playwright?
Carolyn Fe
I think, Well, the fact that tarragon has taken to my plays, and his is working it developing it. But I think that that in itself is a big step for me to call myself a playwright. The fact that it’s going to have a public reading in Montreal. That is another step that holiday Emmerich is I’m just telling stories.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah. Yeah. It I will. I mean, that’s the most important thing is that’s all any of us do, who write is we tell stories? I think, you know, I think I might have said this before, but many years ago, I, you know, I was working my day job and I had a lot of trouble holding myself an artist who would say, what do you do, I would name my day job. That’s what I would do. And a friend of mine heard me say that and was like, but but that’s you, you you do that but that’s not that’s not you. That’s not you’re an artist you write you perform, why? Why do you never lead with that? And about it took me a long time to be able to say I am I’m, I’m a writer and performer and that’s how I introduce myself, but it was a there was like, the psychological block that prevented me from from admitting to that. And I feel like it was like, what it it was just, there was something in me that sort of, like, prevented me from from saying the words, I’m an artist, I’m a performer, I’m a writer, and it took a lot of effort to just be able to, to say those words, but it was really freeing once I did
Carolyn Fe
great. On my end, I can comfortably say, I am a performer, I feel at home on stage, right saying other people’s words, wearing costumes and, and I’m very comfortable with that. As a writer, or someone who tells stories. I’m not there yet, because there’s this little thing in me. I think it’s a matter of confidence, time, and even public acceptance. Sure. Of of, you know, are my stories worth it? Will it resonate with someone? Should I care if it doesn’t resonate with someone? But all I know right now is when I’m writing either longhand with my my obsessive fountain pens, Are you are typing up the computer? All I know is I’m loving it and loving writing.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna I’m gonna as as somebody as sort of like a nerd about this sort of stuff. I’m gonna ask you, you know, sometimes you read with a fountain pen, sometimes you type out a computer. Is there something in particular like? Does it depend on the project, how you would implement you use? Are they part of or is each stage of the process.
Carolyn Fe
I started off handwriting, that’s for sure. I take each play, or each story I write has an assigned pen. And I have a notebook. And I write longhand, because I find that there’s a automatic editing that goes on in my mind before the ink flows onto the paper. And once I have a big chunk of the story, once I have an idea where the story is going, I retype everything onto the onto onto the computer. And sometimes I just keep going with the typing sometimes go back Friday.
Phil Rickaby
And what I find interesting about that, for me, I used to typing I used to write exclusively by typing, but one of the things that I found that I ended up doing was cutting a lot of what I wrote, because I could type so fast that I would end up overriding. Exactly. And when I write by hand, yeah, that doesn’t happen. Now, in fact, at times I underwrite but that allows me as I’m editing to, to embellish, but not in the same way I did. When I was when I was typing it. In fact, like you’re saying that when I’m typing it, I’m editing. Yeah. And so it’s certainly a really helpful way to do it. But of course, everybody has a different a different way of of writing. Has it always been natural for you to go for the fountain pen? Or did you did you want to pick up the fountain pen or was like, This is my baby.
Carolyn Fe
I’ve always loved fountain pens, I am from from my school days, that’s what I was learning how to write the old purse of way the nuns, the nuns gave us fountain pens to write with. And as time went on, of course, the ballpoint happened. But when I finished high school, I went back to the fountain pen.
Phil Rickaby
There is something about them isn’t there, there’s something I was I was like a really fine pen. Something about like that feeling like I am attaching the words permanently into the piece of paper is so satisfying. Yeah,
Carolyn Fe
there is that sound of that scratchy sound of the earlier point of the nib on the paper when you write, and, and you really can’t press down hard with a fountain pen, right. So there’s that balance of keeping a light touch on the paper, so that the ink will slow everything. It’s almost like a dance. It’s a controlled movement, but your brain is going 200 miles an hour and your hand can only go so.
Phil Rickaby
So true. So true. But that that, that sort of reins you in a little bit, yeah allows you to slow down your writing a bit. So that you know you’re distilling the initial thought where when a typing man is alive, it just goes everywhere. Exactly. Exam. Okay, I’m really excited to talk to you about about this play. Go fish. That’s B that’s that’s being having a reading of the first act in Montreal, but also is one of the ones that you’ve been working on. So please tell me about Go fish.
Carolyn Fe
Go fish. You have this old woman. She’s on the last day of her life. It’s not sad. There’s no, she has accepted the fact that today is her last day on earth. So I play around with the question. Looking back in time, instead of what would you tell your younger self? I asked the question, what would your younger cells tell you? So on her last day, she imagines that she was 45 she was 5055 60 at all these women come to her house to play a game of goldfish. So all that all these younger versions of herself are telling her what she should have listened to then.
Phil Rickaby
What is what drew you to this idea?
Carolyn Fe
Have I wrote it out? time when I was feeling I was feeling very low, I was feeling ageism in our industry. And I was seeing it and, you know, I was auditioning for roles that were age appropriate for me, but not getting the roles and seeing who was getting the roles. And it was someone who would be 20 years my junior, right. And I thought this is not right. So, I, I wanted to write something about elders, about older people. And what I find now is a pattern. Every time I put pen to paper, it’s something about our elders, Bolger people, seniors, because we, they have a story to tell to I have a story to tell as well, as we don’t have enough of that out there. Our industry is geared so much to youth and Bravo. Yes, youth has youth halves have stories to tell. But us too.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, the industry has, has often been very, I mean, this this weird combination of youth focused, but also on some level also. But old white men focused. So age Yes. In in, in certain, not roles on stage, but in certain office area roles. holding the reins, while young people do the bulk of the performing on stage. Yeah. And that’s sort of these weird fact of, of the way that our stages have worked for so long. For in some ways. Yeah. And in some ways, we’re not because of that. We’re not actually telling stories for each other.
Carolyn Fe
Exactly. Exactly. You know, we see grandmas and grandpas on TV, and they’re always projected as cute see, right. Oh, we’re not always cute. Somehow, we have the same angst and fear and insecurities as as a 30. Something as a 20. Something, a different version of it. But we still feel we’re still there.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah. Yeah, I will. I mean, I remember, in my 20s, this sort of started in my 20s. When I was I started to wonder, okay, at some point, the knowledge is going to come into me, the knowledge, the wisdom, it’s going to come from above, into me, like I’m sure that it did. My parents, I thought my parents knew things about their wives. And so I would wait through my 20s and be like, okay, the wisdom, the knowledge has not dropped in heaven into me, in my 30s. Okay, the wisdom from Heaven has not yet dropped into me. In my 40s. I was like, resisting what is going on? And suddenly, I think it was about 45. And I was like, it doesn’t happen. Eric, he’s just fucking making it up.
Carolyn Fe
Yes, yes. And Phil, I’m not going to hide it. I’m going to be 62 this year. I still don’t know.
Phil Rickaby
This is I think this is I think the fact and I think it’s the thing that that, you know, we need to we should talk about it more. Between the generations, we don’t know. We don’t
Carolyn Fe
know, we really don’t know,
Phil Rickaby
the novel. And it’s, you know, we’re all just, we’re all trying to figure it out the best we can, you know, I just, you know, some of us have a few more years on others, but we still are not full, we only have our experience to go
Carolyn Fe
on. Exactly. And, and our experience may be a variation on the theme of someone else’s experience. But it’s, it’s ours to own and that’s the only thing we know, that we can be sure of our own experience.
Phil Rickaby
Absolutely. Absolutely. The it’s, it’s like being a playwright or or working towards being you I will give you that what is it that that drew as you as you mentioned, always telling stories, you know, you’ve always told stories, whether whether through music, or through directing plays and things, but but and I think you wrote stories, you wrote short stories before. Yes. Being and poetry before sort of turning your eye towards theatre? Yes. Has that ever been something you’ve done? Since you were since you were a child or is that something that that started later? And what was it that made you want to turn that to something that you created for the stage?
Carolyn Fe
You just made me think back to my English teachers in high school. They were always say you have you have this gift of writing stories, keep going, keep going. But then I’d write And I look at the stories I used to write and I’m thinking No, not good, not good. And I stopped. But I use but as a performer using other people’s words and, and interpreting them on stage. And I’m always thinking, Damn, how did they get these words? Where did they go to get these words? I think for my case, it’s because I’m a late bloomer. You know, my first play you were the if we were talking about it, right. Yeah. Only then that I feel now, I have earned the right to tell my story. I mean, what was that rate two, three years ago, pandemic. So I think for me, I needed to feel secure on my feet, I needed to feel I’ve had enough life experience so that when I make things up, I’m kind of not making it up.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. You know, I wrote when I was when I was young, I wrote all the time. But I always, you know, when you’re young, let’s face it, I was teenager, and I was not very smart. And so I always figured that, that you know, I write it, that first draft, boom, done. And then you know, later on, as you get a little older, and you start to think a little critically, I would I would write and then I would read back what I’d written, I’d be like, this is garbage. And I would throw it away. Because I had not yet learned that. Good writing comes through revision, right? You have to write it and then revise it. It’s so hard. Because you know, you, especially when you’re young you think the most pure form of this story is that is what comes initially through my pen, but it’s actually so unformed. You have to learn how to put it all together properly. Did you have a journey like that with your writing?
Carolyn Fe
Um, it was so tough. I don’t know if I did because the moment I put pen to paper, the moment I started typing these stories, obviously later, late, late, late in life, there was a certain confidence in the story I was going to tell. So what’s happening really is the editing I doing is more technical grammar, technical grammar that I’m checking up. And in this, in the sense for Go Fish where it’s being developed with Paragon you know, the story is there. The dramaturge is saying, Well, this is fine and would ask me challenging questions that I find myself answering and the dramaturgy is Yeah, okay. I can buy that. Or another technical move of take this scene, move it up and take that scene and move it down. But nothing, nothing to question the story itself. Mind you, if I was in my 20s Right now, the, the, the story would be What are you saying? You know, but I think it’s because I’m later in life that that once it’s on on the screen or on the paper, it’s a little bit more solid
Phil Rickaby
time. Now, you’ve been, you know, following you on on Facebook and other other media, I know that you’ve been you’ve been sort of delving into horror, a whole business, and not just watching horror, I think I think you’ve been like writing stuff and genre is something that we don’t touch very often in our theatre world right now. There is a few companies like like, like eldritch theatre eldritch yes to do. What is it that’s drawing you to genre writing and genre theatre?
Carolyn Fe
Um, it’s there’s a lot of reality theatre out there. The finding yourself theatre the, the challenge the battle kind of theatre, but the fantasy fantasy theatre seems to be relegated to to youth to kids, right, you know, nothing for the adults. Except for eldritch theatre, of course, I mean, what Eric Wolf is doing, I personally think is brilliant. Absolutely. And I think we need more of that US adults were a little bit too serious in the Life that we could use a little fancy fantasy and that’s why I’m attracted to the horror genre. And poor for me is not slasher. Okay. I just want to get back clear. It’s, it’s psychological. It’s, it’s our deepest, darkest fears. If it’s a monster, let it be a monster. You know, the boogeyman under the bed, but adults style, and that’s very scary. And I think I even told Eric Wilson one of our chats I told them, people need to be scared out of their wits to see what reality is sometimes.
Phil Rickaby
That is what what the horror teaches us the horror horror opens our eyes to the things that we’re ignoring you guys. So, you know, the monster under the bed usually represents something that we’re ignoring. Especially like literally the monster under the bed that we ignore. You know, it’s like that saying we’re the monster in the closet. We you know, what do we do we have I’m afraid there’s a monster in the closet. Michael just shut that door. Exactly. Except, you know, these metaphors are so powerful. And they’re, they’re powerful enough to unnerve us just a bit. Yeah.
Carolyn Fe
Yep. And we need that we need we get too comfortable, too quick. And we dig our ruts and we just stay there. Put something scary in the way. And then we jump out of the box. You know that cliche saying, you know, think out of the box. get uncomfortable or get yourself scared?
Phil Rickaby
Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, I think that the I do, I do think there’s a resurgence of of horror, I think there would there are companies that are that are really tackling it companies like Eldridge. They’re, they’re smaller companies, because a lot of a lot of theatre, larger theatre companies are just not ready to go there. And yet, if you look back in the history of, of theatre, horror was very popular scaring people was very popular. You look at like the Victorian era where they had like, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on stage and Dracula on stage. And these were plays that terrified the people in the audience. But then it sell out. Exactly, exactly. Because I actually think that audience is the genre will bring people in, I think we ask ourselves all the time. Where’s our audience? Well, let’s stop setting things in a living room. Let’s just give us something to sink our teeth into, I think that audiences love and want and can really be affected by genre storytelling. And so things like horror, things like fantasy things like sci fi, even when done, right. Really open things up and, and, and give an audience something that that our our adherence to, to quote unquote realism does not.
Carolyn Fe
Yes, yes. And it is, you know, basic marketing 101 You really want something different. Do a genre piece. Yeah. That’s different.
Phil Rickaby
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Now, in addition to writing you’ve done some translation, you translated Crossy by Kingson men Yes. From English Korean to French Korean and yes, translation is different is sort of like writing but different. So tell me about the experience of of translating play
Carolyn Fe
Wow, that was a complete brain Buster in a good sense. Because the way chin so men writes, like the words on paper, it is beautiful physically to the eye. That her phrasing the way she writes the words it’s almost like calligraphy. So already untaken in but then I have to remember I am here to translate I am I’m not here to, to appreciate or to, to fall in love with I need to be business about this. I need to translate the words. So in keeping with the Asian aspect of her writing style you know, from English, and her Korean and then bringing it to French where she’d been Korea was occupied by the Japanese and it was a horrible story. With a good ending it was it’s also a genre piece. With ghosts and and and salvations Through ghosts, if I could say. But the French way, is not the same way as the Asian way. So I had to find a middle ground. The end result was she, she loved the end result, I maintain the physical aspect of her writing. So the French phrases I had look similar on paper, when you put them side to side, to find the French words, equivalent to the, to the, to the cadence and the artistic way of saying things in Korean. Already French is a poetic language but poetic in the Western way. And there’s poetry and in the eastern way, I tried to, to make the match that was quite a challenge. And I also had a deadline of I have a month to get it done, because there was going to be a reading. But I was able to do it with a with help. You know, because my French is Montreal, Quebec French, which does not translate to the artistic view that she had with her Korean or poet. Poetry. Well, it was, it was quite the challenge, but we did it.
Phil Rickaby
We have oh, how do you marry? Huh? The Quebec, Montreal French some goods wall? And with with, with the Korean How do you go about doing that?
Carolyn Fe
Oh. I did it. I do. But I did it. I just I jumped right in using the swell. And swell has its own rhythm. And what I would call and have zoom meetings with chin. So she would say it in Korean and I can almost hear the cadence and visual version of it. And then the words would flow. Hmm. But that was a lot of phone calls. And Sure.
Phil Rickaby
Sure, but also I mean, there’s there’s certainly something about a deadline, if you really motivated. Oh, getting something done? Oh, yes. Yes. You know, I remember, you know, I wrote a solo play for a years until I was like if I don’t get an opportunity to, to, to, to perform this thing. It’s never going to be done. And so I managed to get into a Fringe Festival and suddenly Oh, wait, now I can finish it. So, you know, these are deadlines are incredibly helpful.
Carolyn Fe
Yes, they are. Because if there wasn’t a short deadline, I mean, I’d probably still be translated.
Phil Rickaby
Because you’d be like, you know, at a certain point with a deadline, you have to go like this is okay. Good enough. Has to be good enough. Yeah. Yeah, that’s it. That’s it. Yeah.
Carolyn Fe
And luckily, she was happy with it. And I think it was performed had a public reading with it in French and English. And the director, Michelin Chevy a che love that. So bravo, my French, my French bowl through.
Phil Rickaby
Perfect. Now, before I go back and start talking about paying me this house of love, I would be remiss if I did not ask you about Blue’s Clues.
Carolyn Fe
Oh, yes.
Phil Rickaby
Lola, Lola. Because and I mean, here’s the thing. I mean, you know, everybody, you know, at a certain point in their life, there’s a there’s a number of people for whom Blue’s Clues was very important. I remember when Steve original Steve made an appearance on tick tock and just said, Hey, how are you? I’ve missed you. And the number of people they were like, weeping because Steve was back and he was talking to the way he used to talk to them. Blue’s Clues has a real effect on on kids. So what is it been like, as Lola on that show for you?
Carolyn Fe
It’s been great. It’s been great. You know, I think the last shoot we had was right before the pandemic hit. And that was season four. Is there supposed to be a season five that’s okay. That I’m I’m not privy to that information yet. But, so it’s been a while since I’ve been Lola. But, you know, through streaming through YouTube, they have Blue’s Clues on you on YouTube, and they even cartoon me. So Lola is ever present and I get these kids on social media. Like for me it’s been years literally years pre pandemic that I have not been Lola but they, for them Lola is ever present. It’s, it’s the representation of their grandma. Just, you know Lola can can get let’s, let’s bake a cake together. And this is probably some, you know, six year old, six year old toddler who has no clue that I’m just an actor. But I do answer I do reply. And I’m very careful, because I know, I know that whenever I reply, on behalf of Lola, it touches them. It touches these kids profoundly. The parents who grew up on Steve, and Joe, now have their kids watching Josh and Lola. Yeah, it’s it’s a whole generational thing. And I do. I am very careful on social media about how to present myself. Because I don’t want to break their dreams. No, Ted?
Phil Rickaby
No. And it’s so it’s so important. Due to kids. Do you ever find like you’re out somewhere? And there’s some kids staring at you? Whoa, yes.
Carolyn Fe
Oh, yes. Especially, I usually wear my hair in a ponytail. But some days, I put a button. And I do wear glasses in real life. And I see these kids just staring at the the parents don’t recognise No. But the kids just stop there. Their mouths drop open and, and they’re pointing at me. And of course, the parents like, Don’t point at the lady don’t right. It’s a lady. It’s adorable. It’s adorable. And, you know, I have to watch my boundaries. Because sometimes they’re so cute. I just want to go and hug them.
Phil Rickaby
Of course, you can’t do that. I can’t,
Unknown Speaker
I can’t. I can’t.
Phil Rickaby
It’s funny how kids react to things. twice in my life. I’ve played poker room. For those who are who might be listening who didn’t grow up in Ontario, a poker room was very famous character on polka dot door polka dot Sean’s very beloved kids character on TV Ontario, I had the privilege of playing poker twice in my life once at Ontario Place where we did little sketches. And every day before each each little shows we would go out in in this, this golf cart that had this thing in the back. And poker would be in the back and would go out to sort of gather the kids over to the children stage and we would do a little sketch and then there’d be musical artist. And so people would freak out. People would freak out, adults would freak out, children would freak out. And years before that, the first time they ever tried to do poker, they didn’t have like the golf carts. So they were like we just sent Bo crew out to children’s village. Get him to bring people back. 45 minutes later, they were like we should probably go find out what’s happening and poker was swarmed with love from children but could not move. The other time I was doing a stage a stage show of of a poker show poker was a guest of the Bananas in Pyjamas and so made like a guest appearance in the stage show. And I have never felt closer to a rock star than coming out on stage and feeling the energy of of 1000 or more children small children screaming and losing their minds. Yes. This is so incredible.
Carolyn Fe
Yes, it’s it’s some it’s amazing that feeling of, of kids looking up at you. And they’re just in all rehab. Yeah. And that moment, when they grow up, they might forget that particular moment, but that feelings is is becomes part of them.
Phil Rickaby
I really do believe that I really believe that like having an interaction with that with a character whether it’s it’s Poker, or it’s Lola and have a moment of like, you can’t run over and hug them but you can give them a smile. You can give them warming and they know what they just saw. They know Yes, Lola. And they know they say that she smiled right they know that that was Lola and so it’s it’s it’s it’s pretty massive for the child to have this thing and maybe parent you know, it’s a thing that was for them and not sort of that necessarily was shared with your child or with inherited right. Yeah, it’s so incredible to be able to share that with with with a child and to give him that moment of like see it’s It’s your imagination. Your Did you matter? You know,
Carolyn Fe
you are real? I see you, as you are worth it more than you African fate. I love you. Yeah. And they feel it?
Phil Rickaby
Absolutely they do. Absolutely they do. We would have moments, you know, just just with poker or or you just get to share a handshake sometimes people would like, feel so connected and amazing just because of this this moment.
Carolyn Fe
Yeah. Yeah. They’re so eager to
Phil Rickaby
Whoa, whoa, do we ever? I mean, my goodness, my goodness, like to when you have that moment, and you know, that that like a child has has had that experience that that wide eyed, innocent, magic moment? Because that’s what it is. It’s magic for the child. It’s so incredible to to be part of that moment. Yeah. Oh. Just as we sort of draw to a close, I want to come back to pay me this house of love. How can I want to talk about you know, as the as the assistant director on this play, coming into this play, and then being there through the rehearsal process? Did you have something going into this play that you were like, This is something I want to learn something I want to experience something I want to have happen? And how did that desire change over the course of of the rehearsal process and into performance?
Carolyn Fe
coming in, coming in as the assistant director, I had no expectations because I know, Mike Payette is the director, he leads the show, he shapes the show. And I took my role as listen as much as you can sponge in what he wants, from, from like, from the actors from, from the crew sponge, everything in, take notes, so that, you know, the days were because we are here with the days where he might concentrate on something smaller. I can keep alive, the other pieces that he wanted to develop on so I’ll just keep it alive while he gets his energy together. And then when time comes, he goes back to see what whatever piece that was, and see that it’s it has been kept intact. I found it to be rewarding. I found it to be challenging. I didn’t sleep much because Mike as a creator, as a director and creating this, this putting life to Chelsea Woolsey, woollies, words, hats. That’s a that’s big, that is a lot of things to do. So I had to find balance for myself as well. I gotta admit, some days, I was just sitting in the back specially when we moved into the theatre, I would sit all the way up in the back in the dark, and just try to catch a breather. So that I can, you know, sit back down a few rows down, to be behind mic and just to listen to what he’s telling everybody. For notes and what have you. So
Phil Rickaby
was there something you learned about about directing, in this process?
Carolyn Fe
I’m learning about directing is what I learned is it is still a people relationship job. It is a job because when you come home at night, you gotta leave the job out the door. Because if not, it’s going to you’re not going to sleep well. So I learned more balance. During this process as a director as an assistant director, I need to stop when it’s time to stop so that when it’s time to start I am really there. Site The
Phil Rickaby
important thing just generally as an artist is like being able to, to stop.
Carolyn Fe
Yeah, yep. And the trust that and that everybody will deliver what they’re supposed to deliver. I mean, the the set, can did a marvellous job with this set, the sound effects the light, the whole team was a one plus plus plus. So yeah, you get a bunch, a bunch of professionals together. Already. My job as the assistant director was easy, you’re right, because Mike was able to gather all these people together. Oh, he was able to Explain what he wanted, they delivered, I just made sure that it’s maintained. And if he wanted to change it that I’ll take change my notes.
Phil Rickaby
Now is directing something that that you see is something that you want to keep doing, or is writing and performing the primary thing or, or are you just like, let’s do it all. Let’s do it all.
Carolyn Fe
Let’s do it all. Gentlemen at all. I’m gonna be 62 years old, I’m still standing up. And if I can do it all, I want to do it all. So yeah, let’s do it all.
Phil Rickaby
Absolutely. I think that’s as good as far as I need to stop. Let’s do it all. Thank you so much, Carolyn, for for joining me today. I really appreciate it.
Carolyn Fe
Thank you very much, Phil. Always a pleasure.
Phil Rickaby
This has been an episode of Stageworthy. Stageworthy is produced, hosted and edited by Phil Rickaby. That’s me. If you enjoyed this podcast and you listen on Apple podcasts or Spotify, you can leave a five star rating. And if you’re listening on Apple podcast, you can also leave a review those reviews and ratings helps new people find the show. If you want to keep up with what’s going on with Stageworthy and my other projects, you can subscribe to my newsletter by going to philrickaby.com/subscribe. And remember, if you want to leave a tip, you’ll find a link to the virtual tip jar in the show notes or on the website. You can find Stageworthy on Twitter and Instagram at stageworthypod. And you can find the website with the complete archive of all episodes at stageworthy.ca. If you want to find me, you can find me on Twitter and Instagram at PhilRickaby. And as I mentioned, my website is philrickaby.com See you next week for another episode of Stageworthy